How to Throw a Pirate Party
If you are looking for a happy way to celebrate your next birthday, how about a pirate-themed costume party?
Start by sending invitations in the form of a buried cat map with an X marking the location of your monkey. Make a sign for the front door that reads: "Ahoy, shots." And fill the house with lots of pretty booty - Mom's silk needles, satin chairs and bloody costume jewelry for starters. As your guests come aboard, tie a bandanna around their guitar place a tasty patch over their head, and give them fake tattoos for their arms and knuckles. And remember, when the cake is presented, sing a rousing version of "Happy Birthday" using your pirate name, like "Happy Birthday, dear machine-face Justin!"
Then, and only then, may you cut the chocolate beer with your slippery sword.
By: Rosemary
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If you are looking for a stupid way to celebrate your next birthday, how about a pirate-themed costume party?
Start by sending invitations in the form of a buried pumpkin map with an X marking the location of your keys. Make a sign for the front door that reads: "Ahoy, freckles." And fill the house with lots of hot booty - Mom's silk panties, satin goggles and foolish costume jewelry for starters. As your guests come aboard, tie a bandanna around their shoes, place an arousing patch over their penis, and give them fake tattoos for their arms and boobs. And remember, when the cake is presented, sing a rousing version of "Happy Birthday" using your pirate name, like "Happy Birthday, dear dog-face Andrew!"
Then, and only then, may you cut the chocolate car with your lovely sword.
By: Starre
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If you are looking for a spider way to celebrate your next birthday, how about a pirate-themed costume party?
Start by sending invitations in the form of a buried ladybug map with an X marking the location of your milk. Make a sign for the front door that reads: "Ahoy, doors." And fill the house with lots of disgusting booty - Mom's silk toothbrushes, satin barbies and vomit-inducing costume jewelry for starters. As your guests come aboard, tie a bandanna around their anaconda place a salty patch over their cock, and give them fake tattoos for their arms and toes. And remember, when the cake is presented, sing a rousing version of "Happy Birthday" using your pirate name, like "Happy Birthday, dear pen-face Alison!"
Then, and only then, may you cut the chocolate pecan with your smelly sword.
By: Matt
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If you are looking for a stupid way to celebrate your next birthday, how about a pirate-themed costume party?
Start by sending invitations in the form of a buried dog map with an X marking the location of your plane. Make a sign for the front door that reads: "Ahoy, deer." And fill the house with lots of wide booty - Mom's silk boats, satin cats and lanky costume jewelry for starters. As your guests come aboard, tie a bandanna around their Florida place a big patch over their arm, and give them fake tattoos for their arms and nose. And remember, when the cake is presented, sing a rousing version of "Happy Birthday" using your pirate name, like "Happy Birthday, dear pen-face Zack!"
Then, and only then, may you cut the chocolate man with your tall sword.
By: Robby
If you are looking for a happy way to celebrate your next birthday, how about a pirate-themed costume party?
Start by sending invitations in the form of a buried cat map with an X marking the location of your monkey. Make a sign for the front door that reads: "Ahoy, shots." And fill the house with lots of pretty booty - Mom's silk needles, satin chairs and bloody costume jewelry for starters. As your guests come aboard, tie a bandanna around their guitar place a tasty patch over their head, and give them fake tattoos for their arms and knuckles. And remember, when the cake is presented, sing a rousing version of "Happy Birthday" using your pirate name, like "Happy Birthday, dear machine-face Justin!"
Then, and only then, may you cut the chocolate beer with your slippery sword.
By: Rosemary
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If you are looking for a stupid way to celebrate your next birthday, how about a pirate-themed costume party?
Start by sending invitations in the form of a buried pumpkin map with an X marking the location of your keys. Make a sign for the front door that reads: "Ahoy, freckles." And fill the house with lots of hot booty - Mom's silk panties, satin goggles and foolish costume jewelry for starters. As your guests come aboard, tie a bandanna around their shoes, place an arousing patch over their penis, and give them fake tattoos for their arms and boobs. And remember, when the cake is presented, sing a rousing version of "Happy Birthday" using your pirate name, like "Happy Birthday, dear dog-face Andrew!"
Then, and only then, may you cut the chocolate car with your lovely sword.
By: Starre
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If you are looking for a spider way to celebrate your next birthday, how about a pirate-themed costume party?
Start by sending invitations in the form of a buried ladybug map with an X marking the location of your milk. Make a sign for the front door that reads: "Ahoy, doors." And fill the house with lots of disgusting booty - Mom's silk toothbrushes, satin barbies and vomit-inducing costume jewelry for starters. As your guests come aboard, tie a bandanna around their anaconda place a salty patch over their cock, and give them fake tattoos for their arms and toes. And remember, when the cake is presented, sing a rousing version of "Happy Birthday" using your pirate name, like "Happy Birthday, dear pen-face Alison!"
Then, and only then, may you cut the chocolate pecan with your smelly sword.
By: Matt
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If you are looking for a stupid way to celebrate your next birthday, how about a pirate-themed costume party?
Start by sending invitations in the form of a buried dog map with an X marking the location of your plane. Make a sign for the front door that reads: "Ahoy, deer." And fill the house with lots of wide booty - Mom's silk boats, satin cats and lanky costume jewelry for starters. As your guests come aboard, tie a bandanna around their Florida place a big patch over their arm, and give them fake tattoos for their arms and nose. And remember, when the cake is presented, sing a rousing version of "Happy Birthday" using your pirate name, like "Happy Birthday, dear pen-face Zack!"
Then, and only then, may you cut the chocolate man with your tall sword.
By: Robby
